The Rockwood 2004 Olympic Watch--Monday, August 16, 2004

Monday, August 16, 2004

Rather than have a mailbag page for the Olympic Watch and a mailbag page for the comic strip, I've decided to combine the two. So, to check out the Rockwood Mailbag for all sorts of letters! Now on to the watch...

I'm becoming increasingly convinced that NBC is trying to put me out of a job. Only 15 minutes of fluff today! I must be living right.
First up in fluff, diver Loudy Tourky of Australia used to be afraid of heights, but now she dives off of the 10-meter platform, so she isn't anymore. Really. That was pretty much it. Borrrring.
Pieter van den Hoogenband! Pieter van den Hoogenband! Pieter van den Hoogenband! Try it! It's so fun to say!
Bob Costas pointed out that even though a certain American men's team sport was sucking it up (and I think we all know which one I'm referring to), the American women's sports of basketball, soccer, and softball were all kicking serious butt. Well, thank goodness somebody is.
"Chevy Olympic Moments" with Jimmy Roberts. How well are these Olympics going from a television viewer's perspective? So well that I don't even hate Jimmy Roberts this year. Now, I'm not going to get all mushy on him, but my level of hatred has diminished considerably.

That said, his story on U.S. swimmer Natalie Coughlin was so saccharine that it could cause cancer in lab rats. Jimmy said of Natalie that "to her, it's an important week." Please. Is there any Olympic athlete to whom this isn't an important week?
Immediately following "Chevy Jimmy Moments" was Natalie Coughlin actually winning the gold in the 100-meter backstroke. Interestingly, she looked far more nervous on the medal platform than she ever did in any of her interviews or in the water.
Ads. Powerade recycles a commercial from earlier this year that shows LeBron James sinking bucket after bucket from 80 feet away. Ahhh, so that's the reason he was only one-for-three against Puerto Rico on Sunday! He was standing too close! Now if only the Dream Team could come up with an excuse for everyone else on the squad.
After a bit of fluff at the 1 hour 26 minute mark, NBC showed us two-and-a-half hours straight of events. I was glued to the tube. Hear that advertisers? Without fluff pieces, I didn't even feel the need to have the remote at the ready. Good job, NBC!
We got to see U.S. swimmer Aaron Peirsol accepting his gold medal for winning the 100-meter Backstroke. He, too, didn't sing the national anthem. Well, he sang parts, but mostly just stood silently, much like every other athlete I've seen so far. Half of them aren't even smiling during the anthem. I'm going to make a special note of the first person I see belting out the national anthem (of any country) like he or she doesn't care if anyone is listening. Seriously, if you had just won the gold, why would you care if your singing voice was bad? I want to see weeping and singing!
Bob at one point said we were going to stay with the Men's Team Gymnastics until it was done. I figured that meant we had about 20 minutes to go. It took well over an hour. NBC stayed with one event for over an hour! I don't know who got chewed out after the last games, but I'd like to know now why it took so long.
As Japan gets their gold medals, Costas pulls out some trivia so obscure about Japanese gymnasts that all I could do was think about Katie during the Opening Ceremonies. He is SpongeBob!
Closing out the show we have Josh Groban singing "You Raise Me Up" to beautiful, slow-motion pictures of athletes achieving their Olympic dreams. Awwww. Josh, your voice is so purty.

Fluff.

I am very, very impressed. In The Rockwood 2000 Olympic Watch, the average amount of fluff per night was 38 minutes, and there were four nights where it was pushing an hour. The low for fluff in 2000 was 18 minutes. By contrast, this year's high so far is 18 minutes. Had you told me before the Games started that the amount of fluff would be cut by 25 percent, I would have been ecstatic. Had you told me it would be cut by over half, I would have claimed you were smoking that giant doobie that the Greeks call an Olympic cauldron. If NBC keeps up this way, it's going to be the best Olympics ever.

And yes, I realize I just jinxed it. See you tomorrow.

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