Saturday, August 7, 2021

57 channels and nothin' on.

Even The Boss can't change that the end of the Olympics means fewer events. Enjoy these Glory Days while you can.

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• We start LIVE with the Men's Marathon from Sapporo. Unlike yesterday, when we joined the Women's Marathon in the middle of a battle for first, today Kenya's Eliud Kipchoge is over a minute ahead of the pack at the 24-mile mark. Unless he collapses no one else has a chance for gold, so we're watching a four-way battle for second and third. Kipchoge easily wins gold, repeating his Rio victory. With 200 meters left, a pack of three runners is competing for silver. Abdi Nageeye of the Netherlands starts waving at Bashir Abdi of Belgium, encouraging Bashir to come with him as they pass Kenya's Lawrence Cherono. I don't think I've ever seen coordinated passing at the end of a marathon before. Nageeye wins silver, Abdi wins bronze.
• To the pool we go for the gold medal match of Women's Water Polo, the US taking on Spain. Analyst Julie Swail says that scoring is "not as easy as it looks." Does anyone watching this think it looks easy? I get exhausted watching water polo. The US is up 4 to 1 after the first period. After a short commercial break, we come back in the middle of the fourth quarter where the US rout is on 13 to 4. Several minutes later, they have gold, winning 14-5. Mike Tirico tells us that the US women have won every Women's Water Polo medal since the event was introduced in Sydney in 2000. That means the Rockwood Olympic Watch has covered every US women's win in water polo!
• You know Jessica Long, the Paralympian with the commercial about the parents who can't wait to meet her? She gets some fluff! The commercial is better.
• To a different pool we go for the Men's 10M Platform Diving final. It's the knitter Tom Daley of Great Britain versus the Cambodian adoptee Jordan Wilder of the US. I mean, not for the gold and silver, because the Chinese divers are going to win those, but maybe for bronze. NBC and Cynthia Potter have an interesting segment about what the "rip" is, the move at the end of the dive that keeps the diver's splashes from being bigger. That's interesting! Halfway through the competition, Tom Daley has exceeded my expectations, leading both of the Chinese divers. After four rounds, Daley is in third place. Commentator Ted Robinson quotes Daley as saying that he would continue to dive in the Olympics until either his body gives out or he wins gold. You'd better start planning your Paris trip, Tom. He's in third after round 5 of 6. And also after round 6. China goes one-two and Daley finishes third. Seems like I said that at the beginning.
• Around the Games! Baseball! Japan beats the US for gold. Karate! Egyptian Feryal Abdelaziz wins the first ever Olympic medal for an Egyptian woman. Team Handball! Why isn't the US better in this, asks Mike? Team Rockwood loves Team Handball. The US should be better! Put a bunch of NBA players out there and watch them crush it.
• Track and field time! The Women's High Jump features Vashti Cunningham, daughter of QB Randall Cunningham. The Men's 1500M final is next, with Cole Hocker trying to win a medal for the US. He doesn't, but Norway's Jakob Ingebrigsten bolts past Kenya's Timothy Cheruiyot on the homestretch to win gold in Olympic record time. That's two golds in running competitions this Olympics for Norway. What the Hell, Norway is going on? Norwegians don't win footraces! Oslo is the new Kingston.
• Next up, the Women's 4x400M Relay final. Every woman on Team USA has won an individual medal in Tokyo. They're the big favorite. Don't drop the baton! Sydney McLaughlin starts, Allyson Felix takes the second leg and the US is ahead, but then Dalilah Muhammad gets the baton and crushes her competition. Athing Mu finishes the race for Team USA and is so far ahead at the end that it's almost comical. It's almost hard to believe that a victory this large isn't an Olympic record, but it wasn't. The US won by almost four seconds. The span between second and seventh was less than four seconds. With the win, Allyson Felix is the most decorated American in track in field with 11 medals, one more than Carl Lewis's 10 medals. Anytime you're better than Carl Lewis you're doing pretty well.
• Let's see if the US men can do the same in the Men's 4x400M Relay final. Michael Cherry is running the first leg for Team USA. He passes, successfully, to Michael Norman. Norman pushes the US ahead in the homestretch. He passes, successfully, to Bryce Deadmon. Who holds the lead, but it's closer than they'd like. He passes, successfully, to Rai Benjamin who isn't going to let anyone catch him. The US track men FINALLY win a gold medal in Tokyo.
• Back at the high jump, Vashti Cunningham misses out. Her coach and father, Randall, tells her it's all right. She clearly doesn't think so. Who would have thought that Randall Cunningham would be qualified to be an Olympic high jump coach?
• Women's Basketball! Like last night, that's where tonight's Olympic Watch coverage ends. However, it's worth noting that at the end of the night, the newest Equestrian medal winner for the US is the daughter of The Boss, Jessica Springsteen. Mike Tirico says to insert your choice of Bruce songs here. Just don't use the Jeep ad. Everybody hates that one. 

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Is that it for events? Maybe. The Closing Ceremonies are tomorrow, which means they're probably about to start as I type this. And if you think the Closing Ceremonies are usually weird, just remember that tomorrow night they'll feature the French! Hold on to your berets! See you tomorrow!

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