Last update December 15, 2000
Will Rockwood
Vote Will Rockwood for President
 
The End...Really!
 

   Monday, December 11
Four more weeks of material...

   Wednesday, December 13
I mean, it must be at least one in two...

   Friday, December 15
Gore's not even starting until NEXT month...

     
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December 11, 2000: Narrator (with the Supreme Court building in the background): And with the news that the election could last through Christmas, a cry went out across the land ... from the Democrats... Democrats: Noooooo! Democrats' signs: I need a recount! I'm incapable of properly marking a ballot! Narrator: ... from the Republicans... Republicans: Noooooo! Republicans' signs: Concede (before we lose) Winner by technicality! Narrator: ...and from the editorial cartoonists. Cartoonists (at drawing boards): Yayyyyyy! December 13, 2000: TV: And due to the Supreme Court's ruling, Bush wins! Mitch: Really? (Shouting) It's over! TV: Yep! We're 90 percent sure! Mitch: Wait a minute... only 90 percent? TV: Well... uh... 80 percent? Mitch: Haven't we been through this before? TV: C'mon! What are the odds of Gore filing another lawsuit? December 15, 2000: Will: It's finally over! After 11 months of campaigning for president, it's nice to be able to sit here and, for once, not think about politics! Al: Yeah. (pauses) I've drawn up some numbers for 2004... Will: Don't make me hurt you.