Sunday, August 11, 2024

The Olympics are no match for Tom Cruise.

About the 2024 Rockwood Olympic Watch

What exactly is going on here?

For those of you who haven't been here before, welcome! Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to watch all of NBC's prime time Olympic coverage and break it down into three delightful categories:

1. Events
2. Advertising
3. Meaningless fluff

Why would I do this? Just because. You can always go back and read my explanation from previous Watches. They're all basically the same.

Rockwood Olympic Watch Rules

Ads: good. Fluff: bad. I have spoken.

The immediate temptation when grading a major network on its content is to criticize it for the quantity of ads it broadcasts. Let it be known right up front that Team Rockwood thinks that NBC should run ads out the wazoo. The fact is that NBC has done what most of you haven't which is pony up a zillion dollars for the Paris Olympic Games. Then they packed up all their gear and went all the way to Europe to show you pictures on that idiot box in your living room. For free. If NBC needs to show advertisements to pay for your lack of access, then by God, you should watch them and be happy. That's the price you pay for not going to France yourself.

However, the Rockwood 2024 Olympic Watch will still be documenting this advertising time, if for no other reason than it qualifies as neither "events" nor "fluff." We just want you to know how they stand. But once again, let us restate that under no conditions will we tolerate any whining about all the ads they show on TV. If it wasn't for NBC getting companies to pay for advertising, literally no one would be watching the Games this year.

With that said, what will we be grading? Essentially, it comes down to two categories, events and fluff. Sometimes the two intertwine, in which case, Team Rockwood will make a judgement call. Much like the Olympics themselves, the decision of the judges is final, so no beefing about that either.

Some of you may be asking "What's the difference between events and fluff?" Good question. There are always exceptions, but here are some guidelines:

• Events are obviously competitions and only competitions. If people are competing in an Olympic match, that is an event.
• If the event the person on screen is competing in is NOT at the Olympics, it is most likely fluff.
• Medal ceremonies, being something that only happens at the Olympics themselves, will be counted as events. 
  
• Video of past Olympics will be counted as fluff. 
  
• Because there are so many events that no one (not even members of Team Rockwood) could possibly watch them all, news about the current Olympics will be counted as an event. 
  
• Any story featuring someone who is NOT an athlete is fluff. 
  
• Any video that is posterized, mosaiced, overexposed, purposely-blurred, or otherwise enhanced is fluff. 
  
• Anything with a musical background intended to enhance emotion is fluff. 
  
• Interviews conducted immediately following the event will be counted as events. 
  
• Interviews conducted in dramatic lighting will be counted as fluff. 
  

These are just a handful of the rules that Team Rockwood will be using during the games. In short, if something is live and unpredictable, then it's an event. Anything staged or obviously pre-recorded is fluff. Any time two anchors are talking to each other instead of talking about what happened qualifies as fluff. Of course, that could easily be your local news.