| October 2, 2000
The Greatest Games Ever? Hardly.
Traditionally, the International Olympic Committee President, Juan Antonio Samaranch, proclaims each concluding Olympiad the "greatest one ever." He did so again on Sunday night in Sydney, and as far as the Games themselves went, we really are in no position to argue. Mr. Samaranch was there and we weren't. Our only viewpoint is from the television coverage of the Olympics. Unfortunately, the view wasn't quite as good from the seat of our sofa, and while Australia might have been happy with their turnout, the United States has a lot to gripe about.
- Let's start with the obvious. Over the course of 16 days worth of events, NBC showed five hours of Olympics coverage a night, 80 hours in total. Of that 80 hours, advertising took up about 20 hours, events took another 50, but over10 full hours (10:04 to be exact) were devoted to completely meaningless fluff. Given that NBC put on an average of just over 3 hours of event coverage per night, the peacock network could have filled up another three-and-a-third days with events had they just dropped the fluff.
- NBC ratings were down, and for that they'll blame the internet, the newspapers, other television...but they'll never blame themselves. Surely NBC, a corporation with two other major cable channels and a partnership with Microsoft on the web, accounted for these contingencies when they were forecasting their ratings would be low. So what is to blame for their ratings being even lower than expected? I know the answer, but Dick Ebersol would point out that focus groups love the fluff stories. I'll let you know something Dick, I think the fluff stories are dramatic and sometimes heartwarming, too. But next time ask your focus groups which they'd rather see, a story about Marion Jones running, or just Marion Jones running. Clearly your way was rejected by the majority, maybe you ought to consider the Team Rockwood programming plan... NO FLUFF!
The Rockwood 2000 Olympic Watch Medal Ceremony
Our style is a little different. We'll be giving out gold, silver, and bronze for both the best and the worst of the Games' coverage, with Team Rockwood doing the judging. Let's start with the good...
- Good Bronze Medal. Bob Costas. Although stilted in both the opening and closing ceremonies, Costas was the only person reporting at NBC who actually seemed to share the audience's frustration with the time-delayed coverage. His interviews, even when just fluff, were professionally done (I guess those years on "Later" didn't hurt), and his flip comments made the lack of events shown just a little more bearable.
- Good Silver Medal. The swimming coverage. Despite one little slip-up near the end that cost it the gold, the swimming events were outstanding if not only for their coverage, but also for the races themselves. Rowdy Gaines provided knowledgeable commentary without screaming unnecessarily, and the virtual technology that included the flags-in-the-lane graphics and the moving world-record line provided valuable information without being interrupting the flow of the event. Great job. Only a stunning upset could knock them out of the top spot.
- Good Gold Medal. Behold! A stunning upset! NBC, caught completely off guard with an Olympic-sized upset, was forced to cover Rulon Gardner's dramatic victory as a news story instead of a fluff-filled mini-chick-flick. As a result, they provided the most genuine display of emotion in the entire Olympics. Dick Ebersol, please, please, PLEASE make a note of this. Even though I had no background information of Rulon Gardner at all, and even though I have little-to-no interest in Greco Roman wrestling, I was more moved by these twenty minutes than by any of the fluff NBC tried to push on me the rest of the games. I have forgotten literally every formulaic human interest story that tried to justify how much Athlete X deserved to win Event Y because of some tragedy they had suffered through. But I will never forget the joyful tears on Rulon Garder's wife's face as she screamed "he won!" over the cell phone. That may be as close as you ever get to a "Miracle on Ice" moment, Mr. Ebersol. Try to make sure that if there's another, you will be just as lucky.
Now the bad...
- Bad Bronze Medal. Andrea Joyce. Although she only had one bright moment in the sun, it was clear that she had no sunscreen. Andrea single-handedly dropped the swimming coverage from a potential gold to a solid silver by questioning swimmer Inge de Bruijn repeatedly about the allegations she had used drugs, even though main swimming announcer Rowdy Gaines had earlier said she had never failed a drug test. This interview, done near the end of the swimming events, was all that it took to leave a bitter taste in my mouth regarding the swimming competitions. Ironically, her bulldog atitude was reminiscent of the old Jim Gray, whom she had replaced that day. Gray himself had managed to do an outstanding job. It's too bad his effort was overshadowed by the jingoistic Joyce.
- Bad Silver Medal. Al Trautwig. He ruined the women's triathlon. He ruined the men's road cycling race. He didn't ruin the gymnastics only because there were two other people helping him call it, thus keeping his contributions to a minimum. And although I know he's been calling sports for years, he made a rookie mistake over and over again by telling me "what the athlete is thinking right now." Clearly, he didn't have a sense for what I was thinking at any given time, which was usually "shut up and let me watch the race!"
- Bad Gold Medal. Was there any doubt? As predictable as Marion Jones winning the 100-meters, The Rockwood 2000 Olympic Watch bad gold medal goes to Jimmy Roberts and the "GM Olympic Moments." For 16 days, Jimmy infected our lives with his phony brand of wretched hype and nonessential fluff. In total, GM and Jimmy wasted one hour and 19 minutes of my life with this garbage. I'm a little happier today if for no other reason than for the first time in two weeks I don't have to look at Jimmy's plastic grin or listen to his smarmy voice tell me how I should feel about something. I will never buy a GM car until someone from The General personally e-mails me and apologizes for this travesty.
So what does the future hold for Team Rockwood and The Rockwood 2000 Olympic Watch? Well, the immediate future has a lot of sleep. The last two weeks were a lot harder than we thought they were going to be. After that, it's back to running a presidential campaign as well as churning out three hilarious comic strips a week.
And will we be doing this for Salt Lake City in 2002? Who knows? We'll definitely be well rested by then, so that will be a plus. But with Salt Lake City just 20 or so hours away by car, you might just as easily see Team Rockwood somewhere on the slopes of Utah, partying the night away with Alberto Tomba. You never can tell. Keep in touch and you'll be the first to find out. Until 2002, Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi!
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