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Monday, May 28, 2001
And it's better acted...

Wednesday, May 30, 2001
Slow-motion explosion or non-slow-motion explosion...

Friday, June 1, 2001
And some forgettable bimbo as the love interest...

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© Copyright 2001 Brian Lundmark, all images and text on this page.
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May 28, 2001: Al (coming out of "Pearl Harbor"): Who keeps letting Michael Bay direct? We have to stop this hack! Mitch: How? We're a space hotel, not an orbiting weapons platform! Skip: Actually, we're both, dude! The C.I.A. retrofitted this station with top-secret S.C.I. technology that could blast a single person with a space-based laser! Al: That sounds pretty implausible. Skip: No more so than any Bruckheimer screenplay. May 30, 2001: Al: Skip, you're telling me that we can stop Michael Bay's hack directing career wirh an S.D.I. laser fired from this station? Skip: That's right, dude! You just need to pick the level of damage you want off of this menu and you're ready to go! Al: Hmm... what are my options? Skip: Regular or extra crispy? June 1, 2001: Al: Today I strike a blow for movie lovers everywhere by vaporizing hack director Michael Bay! Jerry Bruckheimer: Mind if I watch? Al: Jerry Bruckheimer? Jerry Bruckheimer: I love this idea! Space-based lasers blowing up Hollywood! I see a 2002 summer release starring Nicolas Cage and Steve Buscemi! Al: Well, it's not going to be any fun, now! Jerry Bruckheimer: Really? Hey, can I pull the trigger?