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Monday, March 24, 2003
Stupid white man...

Wednesday, March 26, 2003
Let me rock you, let me rock you shock and awe...

Friday, March 28, 2003
Faster than a speeding news cycle...

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March 24, 2003: Will: Michael Moore? Congratulations on the Oscar! I didn't know you were comin aboard or I-- Michael Moore (holding his Academy Award Oscar): No. How could you? This whole station is a fictitious manifestation of fictitious characters! Even this Oscar is fictional when in this fictitious universe! Will: Alllrighty then! I'm just gonna back up reallll slow-like... Michael Moore (talking into his Oscar): Hey! I think John Ashcroft bugged this! Hello? Hello!? March 26, 2003: Mitch: Whatchya watching? Al: Shock and awe. Mitch: That '80s singer? Al: Chaka Khan! Mitch: Oh. My bad. March 28, 2003: TV: This is CNN. The war is going great! Wait a minute! It's slowing down! Now the US is hopelessly stuck in a quagmire. Is this another Vietnam? Mitch: We need to throw the ball faster.