May 7, 2007: KHAN: What are you wasting your time on, pathetic human? Will: I'm shopping for a Mother's Day present, KHAN. KHAN: Mother? Will: Hmm... I guess for you it's different. A mother is the person who created you. KHAN: I see... so Bill Gates is a mother? Will: Oh, he's a mother, all right. May 9, 2007: KHAN: I can't celebrate Mother's Day because I don't have a mother. Nix: Mothers... bah! Who needs 'em? I was cloned in a petri dish and raised in a laboratory until, at a very young age, my "mother" paid for "that sickly child in the corner" with a pair of old shoes. Although she feigned love, she secretly loathed me. KHAN: Really? Nix: Well, that's what my older brother always told me. May 11, 2007: Dana: What are you doing, KHAN? KHAN: Well, just in case I figure out who my mother is, I'm looking for the perfect Mother's Day e-card. Dana: Awww... that's sweet. KHAN: Whatever... it doesn't really matter. Dana: That's no attitude to take. KHAN: No, I mean if I sent her one of these e-cards, she'd disown me. Who writes these crappy things?