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Monday, July 9, 2001
Back, back, back, back, back times infinity...

Wednesday, July 11, 2001
You know, like George Will...

Friday, July 13, 2001
Soon to be required to use Windows XP...

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July 9, 2001: Mitch: How far could Mark McGwire hit a home run in orbit, Kepler? Kepler: Up here? Forever! Mitch: Yeah, Big Mac rules! He-- Kepler: Technically, even I could hit a home run for forever up here! Mitch: You're kinda stealing the magic. Kepler: ...though I didn't factor in orbital decay, so it might only be a billion miles or so... July 11, 2001: Al: Yes!! The A.L. wins the All-Star game again! Dana: And that matters why? Al: Uh... Because the N.L. lost? Dana: I thought baseball fans were supposed to be the smart ones. July 13, 2001: (Al watching) TV News: Microsoft agreed today to allow a "clean desktop" to be installed on any "Windows" computer, a move hailed by boot-licking manufacturers as "a good thing! A real good thing you did, Billy!" Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer said they were through using such subversive methods in crushing its competitors, and from now on would be much more blatant about it. In other news, Ballmer showed off Microsoft's new "Electroshock" mouse. Mous: I don't like that browser you've chosen, Steve. BZZZT!!