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Monday, February 23, 2004
That's like, half of NBC's lineup...

Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Be sure to show your work!...

Friday, February 27, 2004
Now you'll have to assume something else...

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February 23, 2004: Kepler: In response to the Super Bowl, and just in time for Engineers Week, I've created the Super V-Chip! Will: Which does what? Kepler: This hardware/software solution automatically analyzes everything it sees on TV and filters out anything it regards as garbage. I'm testing one on Al's TV now! Will: Does it work? Al: I can't tune in any shows about lawyers. Kepler: Success! February 25, 2004: Engineers Week 2004 Story Problems. 1. Since the dates coincide, and engineer chooses to spen E-week at Mardi Gras in New Orleans. At 5 p.m., he starts drinking one beer every half hour to try to catch up to the crowd that's been drinking one beer per hour since noon. At what time are the engineer and the crowd equally blitzed? 2. Our engineer displays his calculator to balconies on Bourbon Street when he mistakenly thinks a sign reads "show me your T.I.s." Angry frat guys proceed to pelt him with beads. If a greek hurls his beads parallel to the ground, what velocity dose he need to throw to hit the engineer in the head? 3. Exhausted and laden with beads, the engineer leans against a police barricade. With the addition of 20 pounds of beads, does the center of gravity of his normally 130-pound body shift far enough to cause him to topple over the barricade? February 27, 2004: Kepler: Will, come quick! They called me crazy, but I actually did it! Will: Did what? Kepler: The engineering holy grail! Everyone talks about it, but no one's been able to pull it off... till now!! Will: What are you talking about? Omigosh! It's a spherical cow! Kepler: Assume no more!