Will in a tube
     The Grinch from Rockwood's Past
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Monday, December 24, 2001
NOT animated by Chuck Jones or spoken by Boris Karloff...

Tuesday, December 25, 2001
He's a mean one...

Wednesday, December 26, 2001
He left crumbs too small for the other Who's mouses...

Thursday, December 27, 2001
He slithered and slunk with a smile most unpleasant...

Friday, December 28, 2001
And he, he himself, the Grinch, carved the roast beast...

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© Copyright 2001 Brian Lundmark, all images and text on this page.
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December 24, 2001: Every student on campus liked Christmas a lot, but the prof in his office o'er O.U.ville did not. Why'd he hate it? Well no one was sure why he did. Maybe bad vibes from bad grades he gave to his kids. But I think the most likely reason of all was the curveon his tests was two sizes to small. "they're packing their bags!" the prof said with a sneer. "just two weeks til break! It's practically here!" From his printer, a fifteen page final was humming. I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming!" December 25, 2001: And the more the prof thought of the students' next break the more the prof thought there must be some mistake! "I'd just got them whipped!" said the prof with some grief. "But now they'll get Christmas to give them relief! For umpteen tenured years I've put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?" Then he got an idea. An awful idea! Theprof got a let's convince everyone that the economy's a lot worse than it is so we can get elected idea! "I know just what to do! boomed the prof with a yell. And I'll start with more homework to make their lives hell!" December 26, 2001: All their windows were dark. No one knew of the prof. All the students were dreaming of their future time off. But the prof, in the library, with a smile most unpleasant, made the hardest test ever! Past, future, or present! Calculus, fine arts, and particle physics! Chemistry music philosophy civics! He put them all in without any dissension and now sneered the prof a five-page essay question. But just as he started to write with his pen, he stopped at the sound of a tiny ahem. December 27, 2001: Will stared at the prof and asked the prof why? Why are you making our test harder? Why? Why my dear college student lied the prof with a leer, this test has some problems that might be unclear! So I'm checking them over! Removing all doubt! I'm not making it harder, I'm just helping out! And his fib fooled the student, then he flashed a fake smile and he sent him along to keep studying for finals. And when he was sure Will had finally departed, he crept to the table and made the test harder! December 28, 2001: Now outside the classroom, the prof waited, humming. They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming! The test's almost over, I know just what they'll do. Their mouths will hang open a minute or two then those students in class, well, they'll all cry boo-hoo! But as students left, they were laughing with glee. The prof was appalled and said how could this be? The test was all essay! No easy questions! No multiple choice! It was written in Latin! Then the prof thought of something he'd not thought til today. Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come with an "A." And what happened next? well in classrooms they say, that the prof's tiny curve grew three sizes that day! And then the true meaning of Christmas shown through, and the prof realized he knew just what to do! He got rid of absences, tardies, and debits. He gave them good grades and some big extra credits. He cheered everyone up, and made all of them smil, and he--he himself, the prof-- gave them A's on their finals. So welcome Christmas bring your cheer to all students far and near. Christmas day is in our grasp so long as all our tests we pass. Al: So the tangent is... is... oh screw it! I'm going on break!