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Monday, July 19, 2010
Got a trashcan of styrofoam peanuts, you can have 'em for free...


Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Also, his wallet is too small for his fifties, and his diamond shoes are too tight...


Friday, July 23, 2010
I know you wanna leave me, but I refuse to let you go...


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July 19, 2010: Mitch: Apple is giving away free bumpers to fix the iPhone 4's problems. Kepler: Really? Well, that stinks! What am I supposed to do with all of the pre-measured strips of duct tape? Mitch: Craigslist. Those people will buy anything. July 21, 2010: Mitch: I heard the iPhone 4 has antenna issues, Mr. Jobs. Steve Jobs: Hype! Look, I can hold it just fine without the signal fading. Mitch: You're wearing gloves. Steve Jobs: Yes, I always wear gloves while making iPhone calls. Mitch: They're sparkly. Are those rhinestones? Steve Jobs: Diamonds! We made over $3 billion last quarter selling iPhones! July 23, 2010: Al: Your new iPhone has problems. I'm using this Droid instead. Steve Jobs: That's your choice. Al: Why is this interface so clunky? This app doesn't work! Why don't you-?! AAAA!! You win. Can I have my iPhone back? Steve Jobs: If you beg.