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Monday, March 8, 2004
Is Donna Rice available?...

Wednesday, March 10, 2004
I mean, she's only worth half-a-billion...

Friday, March 12, 2004
You know, he served in Vietnam...

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March 8, 2004: Mitch: Now that John Kerry has the nomination sewn up, he needs a running mate. Skip: What are the qualifications? Mitch: Hmm.. he or she needs to be charismatic, smart, as well as rich enough to spend his own money to avoid free-speech-abridging campaign finance laws, and, he has to avoid the temptation of loose women. Skip: Loose women?! Dude! Where's the phone? March 10, 2004: John Kerry's phone answering service: Thanks for calling 1-800-be-a-veep! Could I have your name, please? Skip: Skip Sterling. John Kerry's phone answering service: And what are the top two ideas you support that would make you appeal to Kerry voters, Mr. Sterling? Skip: Higher taxes and French appeasement! John Kerry's answering service: Ooo! Very nice! I'll set up a meeting wih the big guy! Skip: Third, I could give investment tips to his mere millionaire of a wife, Dude! March 12, 2004: Will: Okay, Skip. I've set up this videoconferencing unit so you can interview with John Kerry for vice president. So if you really want this job, try not to say anything that will screw up your chances. John Kerry: Hi! I'm John Kerry! Skip: Dude! Why the long face? (John Kerry hangs up).