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| 2:13 | 1:00 | 0:17 |
| Events | Ads | Fluff |
* Bob and his now only slightly wonky eyes give us a rundown, then kick us straight over to the bobsled track where the USA-1 and USA-2 sleds sit first and third. Two medals today, maybe? Let's find out!
* USA-1 has a few mistakes on their first run tonight, But Canada-1 can't take advantage of it, so USA-1 is still in the lead. Analyst John Morgan says that could be a good thing for the US. Hmm... the US still being in the lead could be a good thing? Profound.
* USA-2 makes a solid but not perfect run. USA-3 with the much-criticized Lolo Jones finishes eleventh. Jones has been taking a lot of heat from veteran bobsledders in the past few days. Seriously, have any of these critics actually watched these races? Lolo's starts are just a tenth of a second slower than the leaders, but her sled is finishing over two seconds behind. Unless Lolo is somehow sitting quietly in the back of the sled incorrectly, I'm blaming the person in the front of the sled.
* Oh, no! It's Ohno! Oh, no! It's fluff! Apolo Ohno takes his turn playing Jim McKay, following figure skating Gracie Gold around her training center in Los Angeles and doing yoga with her on the beach. Apolo looks a little stiff doing the cobra pose, but he's not too bad as an interviewer. Still, fluff!
* Back to the sleds, and Elana Meyers of USA-1 gets a little fluff. She claims she's a horrible car driver. And she's the person they chose to drive a sled? Well, she's in first, so I guess cars and sleds are different.
* In her post-race interview, Lolo Jones compares Lauryn Williams to Jesse Owens because Williams might be the first US athlete to win gold in both the winter and summer games since 1932. That would actually be something that Jesse didn't even do, Lolo.
* USA-2 runs sloppy on their fourth run but still finishes fast enough to guarantee themselves a medal. Now here comes Canada-1, the defending gold medalist. Ooo... first place by a whole second. That puts the pressure on USA-1 and Lauryn Williams. Ouch! Elana keeps hitting the sides of the track. Can she pull it off at the end? Nooooo! Second place by a tenth of a second. The US finishes silver and bronze. Still, for a sport normally dominated by Europeans, having all three medalists be from North America is still pretty cool. And Lauryn Williams will just have to settle for being one of only five Americans to win medals of any color in both summer and winter games. Not too shabby.
* We're back from commercial, but the Russian hockey team is not. They're out of the Olympics after losing today to Finland. How in the name of Vladmir Putin could such a thing happen?
* To the mountain for the men's giant slalom, where American Ted Ligety is the big favorite. Normally I'd find that exciting, but they keep saying it. Don't jinx him, NBC!
* Let's get some Ligety fluff! He's an extreme skier, a mountain biker, and a Duke boy because he likes to jump cars. Why didn't Waylon Jennings narrate that part of this piece? Oh, because he died. I guess that's a pretty good reason.
* And he's off! Ligety-Ligety-Ligety! And he makes it to the bottom Ligety split! Okay, I'm even making myself sick now. Still, Ted was really fast, beating the previous fastest time by more than a second.
* Back at the top of the slope, Steve Porino gives us a rundown of how much all of Bode Miller's equipment costs. It ends up being over $100,000, including over 100 pairs of skis. That's probably true, but I'm guessing that Bode Miller hasn't purchased a pair of skis in over a decade.
* To the Iceberg for the ladies short program in figure skating. But first, let's start with some fluff. American Polina Edmunds has Russian parents and Russian relatives that will all reunite in Sochi for the Olympics. There. I saved you three minutes of your life.
* She's a pretty good skater, though. As usual, my predictions of actual skating scores should be taken with a grain of salt, given that I have no idea what I'm talking about. Polina is in first place after one skater.
* Next up, South Korean super-duper-star Yuna Kim, the defending gold medalist. How do you know she's a super-duper-star? Just listen to analysts Scott Hamilton and Sandra Bezic. I think they're going to break into tears with every description of her every move. My judging? No falls: good.
* Back to the mountain for more giant slalom. Ligety is so far ahead that all he needs to do is not fall down and he should win. Bode Miller doesn't come close, but he does get to wish his daughter a happy birthday on the air in his post-race interview. Awwww...
* No US skier has ever won the giant slalom in the Olympics, and yet NBC has been busy trying to jinx Ted Ligety all night long. The racer before him finishes a half-second behind the current leader. Ted was almost a second ahead of him after the first run. He's off! OH! He was close to falling in the middle, but he hung on, and he wins! Well, he is just a good ol' boy, never meanin' no harm. That beats all you ever saw, didn't it?
* Citi has a congratulatory Ligety ad all ready to go. That's good planning.
* Now some more skating fluff, as we get two minutes of skater close-ups and soft piano music. At least it wasn't that accursed Philip Phillips song the played for all of the US gymnasts in the summer games in London.
* It's time for Gold, Gracie Gold. How can she lose with a name like that? No falls: good. Next, Russia's Yulia Lipnitskaya takes the ice. "This music highlights her youth, but yet shows her old soul," says Sandra Bezic. Oh please. Vladimir Putin probably picked this song out. Whoops! One fall: bad. Yulia still has a better chance to medal than the Russian hockey team, but now her chance at gold is probably about the same.
* Carolina Kostner of Italy was, says Bezic, "Perfection." Yet she still finished behind Kim. Next up, Ashley Wagner of the US who will again be skating to Pink Floyd. This show would really be better if there were laser lights. Or giant inflatable pigs. No falls: good.
* Adelina Sotnikova of Russia channels some Katarina Witt by skating to Carmen. And like Witt, she makes the most of it. No falls: good. Unlike the Russian hockey team and Lipnitskaya, she'll still have a chance for gold.
* Ted Ligety is in the Fortress of Solitude with Bob talking slalom strategy. Given Ted's hair, he's apparently been sleeping ever since he won the medal. Hey, if you win a gold medal, you can sleep when you want, right?
* David Wise gets his medal ceremony tonight for winning the ski halfpipe last night. Devoted husband and doting father that he is, David further impresses me by singing the Star Spangled Banner. Man, I'm going to exhaust my supply of favorite Olympians this year! Awesome!
The return of Costas has marked the return of fluff. With just four days remaining, I fear it's only going to get worse. Pray that I'm wrong. On the upside, lots of US medals today, so maybe if that's the price we have to pay for fluff, it's worth it. Nahhhh. See you tomorrow!
