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Monday, August 4, 2008
All the approved news that's fit to print...

Wednesday, August 6, 2008
The tension and the air are so thick you can cut them with a knife...

Friday, August 8, 2008
Ha ha!  Just kidding!  There are no protestors in China...

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Tell me about it!

August 4, 2008: Bei Bei: I am Bei Bei, a Chinese Olympic mascot. I understand you'll be writing about our games? Kepler: Yeah, on my blog. Bei Bei: Excellent! First we'll need to make sure you use approved news websites. Let me check. No. No. No. No. Kepler: You erased every bookmark I have. Bei Bei: Now you're free to report anything we approve about our Olympics! August 6, 2008: Mitch: For the Olympics, I'm going to totally immerse myself in China. First, a giant made-in-China TV. Next, a two-and-a-half week supply of Chinese food. And finally, smog bombs! Al: The perfect cover for oppressing members of Falun Gong! August 8, 2008: Mitch: I'm betting they'll use fireworks. Al: I'm betting they'll use a fire-breathing dragon. People: Aiee! Aaaa! Arg! Mitch: I never would have bet they'd light the torch using Tibetan protestor immolation. Al: Or that they'd have so many 'volunteers.'