January 5, 2009: Mitch: For 2009, I resolve to make no resolutions. KHAN: That's a paradox. Try again. Mitch: Okay... I will not resolve to make resolutions. KHAN: How do you not resolve something? Mitch: For 2009, I resolve to stop talking to you. KHAN: Oh, if only I could get every pathetic human to make such a promise!
January 7, 2009: Al: I resolve that in 2009 I will never be late to work again. I also resolve to read the entire bible front-to-back, master the classical guitar, and single-handedly solve the credit crisis. Dana: You couldn't stop with the realistic goal? Al: They're all unrealistic, so if I'm gonna fail, fail big!
January 9, 2009: Skip: For 2009, I resolve to buy a Rockwood Calendar, Dude! Will: What a coincidence! That's my resolution, too! Skip: Whaddya think? Too shameless? Will: Hey, we're in a recession. You do what you have to do.