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September 5, 2011: George Lucas is altering his Star Wars movies again for their Blu-Ray release, this week's Rockwood strips will highlight the most noticable differences. George Lucas (defacing the Mona Lisa): Better! R2-D2 now has a speaking voice and his first words are... R2-D2: Biddy biddy biddy Hey C-3PO! Every time the Ewoks kill a stormtrooper on Endor, they'll sing. Ewoks: Oompa loompa doopity do.
September 7, 2011: More changes George Lucas is making to ruin the Star Wars blu-ray edition. Credits will now roll at the beginning of the movie. Edited, Re-edited, Re-re-edited by George Lucas. Story horribly altered by George Lucas. Your childhood memories ruined by George Lucas. Instead of John Williams, action scenes shot in the '70s will feature a revamped 1970s jazz music soundtrack. Wocka-chicka. Groovy! Han Solo's sarcastic remarks will be replaced because sarcasm is mean. Princess Leia: Would it help if I got out and pushed? Han Solo: No, it's a problem with the engine. But thank you!
September 9, 2011: Still more changes George Lucas intends to inflict on the Star Wars blu-ray discs. Hitchcock-like cameo for George Lucas I'm Jabba's brother, Jebby! In every scene in which he appears, Chewbacca will have digitally-inserted pants. Obi-Wan Kenobi: I'm looking for a ship... and some Dockers. Chewbacca: Growl! Darth Vader's new cheer when he shoots down an X-wing fighter. Darth Vader: Yippee!
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